无法面对自己的自己

如何对待一个人，
日子久了， 就越来越来不知如何是好。。
好想生气， 却因为某某原因又原谅。。
不是妒忌也不是羡慕，

人到底是什么，
为什么人又要来到这个世上，
除了家人之外，
又有谁能让自己感觉到安全呢？

朋友到底是什么，
跟这个世界的遥远距离很遥远。
是不是我太自我， 太放大了自己，
把自己放在第一，
过于相信，依赖别人，
只会让自己所受的伤更大。

请恕我冒昧， 请给我多一点空间来呼吸～～！！！

请恕我冒昧， 请给我多一点空间来呼吸～～！！！

不知道从几时开始，以这个世界隔了一道很高很厚的墙，
自己的内心不知不觉中也封闭， 沉睡了～
常常问自己是否是不是来之内心的笑容还是面具的笑容～！
常挂在脸上的面具往往很自然的代替了内心的答案， 自己也不明白， 不了解。
当问自己的内心时，它永远是在沉睡的～！
爱，这个字，。。我不明白。。爸爸妈妈的爱， 家人的爱。。
付出？？？不懂。。。受过的伤，流下了难以遮盖的疤痕。。
不敢再踏前一步，一直都在逃， 不敢去面对，
假装不知道，会比较舒服吧～！
好想。。好想。。沉睡。。。不必考虑， 不必面对， 不必在伪装～！ 好累～

自己的心情，自己的心意

不是不想靠的太近，而是怕靠得太近会带来更大的伤害。。

并不是要刻意隐瞒，而是不习惯让人看得透，比自己更了解自己。

习惯一个人的生活，不是不想说，而是不知道怎样开口。

连自己的心也不清楚，要怎样再去喜欢自己和周围的人呢？

有谁能来教我应该如何？？怎样才能做会真正的自己？？

了解自己的心呢？

累了，一直以来所做的努力，到底能不能改变什么呢？

不管怎么跑，感觉还是在原地踏步，

无论如何怎样珍惜，感情也会想细沙从手心里流走，

累了，不想了，好想

永远永远的沉睡了。。。

注定的那个人？？

人以人之间的相处到底为了什么？？

沉溺在这世界太久了， 醒了才发现原来还在原地。。

不管这么跑，原来还在原地踏步

世界也只有自己， 一个人

心里的自己好想独自一个人，在心中沉睡

继续沉睡之到遇见注定的那个人。

不是不敢和人靠的太近， 

也不是在耍酷,

是为了不要带来无畏的伤害,

对自己对您们,

伪装的自己也认不清是自己，

面具戴的太久，自然的已经善长掩饰自己的心意。。

我不愿意为谁解开那个面具,

自愿解开我面具的人是命中的那个人..

Tired but sweet memory~~! Sambutan Hari Malaysia dan HAri Kemerdekaan

Wow....10 days were passing so fast, started from last Tuesday (6 Sept), we went to Presint 17,  Putrajaya and stay there...by bus..hahaha...half n hour journey, we finally reach there.First of all, we need to carry our heavier luggage to hall to register by campus. Then, we had to bring our heavy luggage n climb up to 11th floor cause the lift was flood by all the student and we lazy to take turn so we juz climb up stairs ourself..(damn tired..haiz..) Finally, after we finish carrying our luggage, we have to start to clean up our room cause it is very dusty.( last year experience, so this time got bring mop and broom..hahha (^w^)V ) After cleaning up the room, we went down to dewan makan to have our lunch.hhhaha..n we are having our rest until night....On the night, we had gather at the dewan terbuka/ carpark to have the first meeting and we need to build a group ourself...50 person in a group..hohoho..
2nd day, we wake up at around 5am as we need to have our breakfast at 5.30am n we will go to dataran merdeka at 6am , WOW.the siren and bangun..bangun..bangun by Encik Balak wake us up in the earlier morning, i like him so much cause he is very kind. i m so shocked when I saw our stage..After waiting our my group member reach dataran, we waited the command from MIB n go up to the stage.at first our group r D4 but then change to A2(from the below change to the highest ) hahah..Actually, i luve my team so much although we come from different campus but i feel that we r one family,,hahaa..While we have some practice on how to change the shirt to show different n formed word.haha (enjoy so much )..(*I like our conductor so much- Abang Azad..heheh.he is cool, kind n smart..wahhaahaa.. ^o^)

Haha,...I love go out with Crystin Tan...hahaha

2day was a relaxing day...cause i go out wif my best friends, Lili...
First we having our lunch at MCDonald then we go to sunway..haha
After that, we got ot GSC n watch Zoo Keeper at 7.10pm but before that we go to window shopping n meet Seow Hoay there,,hahah,,,that little girl not change oso....still the same but becoame more beautiful d..n lili,..become more taller n more prettier lol..hhaaha.
We 2gether  hv our dinner at 600cc...damn full lol..n yummy,.haha
.After that, we go to watch the movie
 The movie damn funny ...... i strongly suggested go to watch this movie,.hhaha...\
Thank You, Lili so much...haha.. Luv u...(^W^)v

Alone....Loner?

Dun know what r the reason, i fell very emo after wake up.....

maybe is the dream...or i realize n finally comfirm already....

i m juz  a loner although i hv many friends around..(not include my friends in butterworth n esther, min, n pui yee)

i truely tired d..tired to communicate wif my friends, tired to get know what they are doing n they willl doing, 

i dun know my feeling actually, i know that i will always show my fortitude n smile then say nevermind when i m alone or in trouble but actually i need someone who will always accompany me and heard my true feeling...